Some of you may see this title and think "Yep, I am super good at setting boundaries.". The rest of us... well, we may have a bit of a different reaction. I understand the idea behind setting boundaries. I actually LOVE the idea. But adhering to them, again, some us may actually suck at it.
And I wish I had a brilliant idea here for you. But despite all my best plans, most of my days involve the juggling act of homeschooling children, taking care of the household, meeting clients, internal kick off calls and strategy meetings, budget discussions, website reviews, realizing we never let the chickens out of the coop and karate car pool. I am the first to say "yep", "on it!", or even a sad attempt with "...let me see" before totally doing whatever was just asked/ demanded of me!
The problem is that most of us who struggle with adhering to boundaries do so because we are pleasers. We like to make people happy. To quote a housewife (RHONY), we want to come from a place of yes, not a place of no :)
And unfortunately, while we get the feel good vibes for a beat - we end up beaten. Feeling like we are in a never ending marathon and often times with no crowd cheering us on. So... while I have no brilliant solutions for you, I do have a few suggestions that may help:
Set office hours. ESPECIALLY if you are working from home, starting a business, serving multiple roles to keep your business a float. While some of us thrive under pressure it just is not sustainable to work around the clock and your work will begin to suffer.
Challenge yourself to say no to something at least once a day. "No, I can't meet for an hour but I can do 30 minutes." "No, developing that program by next week does not make sense, let's work together to determine a timeline." "No, I can't let the chickens out."
Turn it OFF! For me, all devices are off 8pm - 8am. I am a lot of things to a lot of people but I am not a doctor on call! And since I am not at risk of delivering babies or opening hearts, nothing is so urgent that it requires my immediate attention during those off hours. But if that phone is handy, I can't be trusted to not do a quick "check in" and end up answering posts, emails, text messages all from the amazing people I get to work with so I leave it turned off and in the other room.
Make and keep "me time" - for me it's a walk and my favorite podcast. No matter what is going on - I give myself one hour each day to be alone, selfish, active and free! Each day I look at my calendar and schedule my hour as a meeting so that I don't miss the time.
Have other tips on setting personal/ work boundaries? We would love to hear them! Please post a comment!